Wednesday, October 10, 2018
Book Reviews: 'Empath' and 'Narcissists' by Naomi McCullough
Empath Naomi McCullough is a professor, an inspirational speaker, and the author of several memoirs and self-help books. She was born in Chicago but raised in San Francisco and studied at the University of Pennsylvania and St. John’s College, Cambridge in England. She has published three books – the two included in this set and another EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE.
The first short book is EMOTIONAL ABUSE and Naomi outlines both the definition and her goal in her Introduction – ‘Downloading this book will help you understand what people undergo or who have experienced emotional abuse, what goes on in their minds, and various situations. This can be a guide to those who have no idea what emotional abuse is, and you might be going through it but not being aware of it. The book has instances in which emotional manipulation may occur and how the abuser can take advantage of your weakness and exploit it to their benefit. Some situations might shed light on your own experience and finally understand what is going on. You will learn steps to help you know what emotional abuse is like. The steps in which you might be influenced by your abuser into putting more effort pleasing them and not yourself. The information in the following chapters is important as you get to learn the steps to take to heal yourself. Some examples can help you understand better what is going on. You might know someone who is going through this, and this book might finally help you take the initiative to help them. The book also discusses ways on how to change if you are an abuser and means to identify how you are oppressing your partner or co-worker.’ She then explains the origins and manifestations of emotional abuse and how to cope and recover and rebuild self-esteem.
The second book is NARCISSISTS and once again she offers a solid Introduction – ‘
Dealing with a narcissist is not something that anyone looks forward to. The trick is that most people don't realize they are dealing with a narcissist until it is too late. While there is only about one percent of the population that are considered narcissists, they often appear in different roles in our lives and can leave us confused, self-conscious, and unsure about ourselves. While most people feel compassion and empathy towards others and would help out someone if it were for the greater good, this is not something that you will see with a narcissist. Narcissists are skilled manipulators who can use people to get what they want without ever feeling bad or guilty about it. They can be the most charming person for a minute, as long as you are giving them attention or providing them a benefit in another way, and then they can turn against you and use your secrets against you when you don't agree with them. There are many reasons why someone may be a narcissist, but they often work the same. They have to be right, and they have to be superior to everyone else, or they start to get mean. They will call you names, defend their stance (even when it is wrong) to the last minute, and will find a way to make you doubt yourself. It doesn't matter what kind of relationship you have with the narcissist, having one as a friend, a coworker or boss, a partner, a parent, or even a child, they are always looking to feel superior and get ahead, and your feelings mean nothing to them. This book will spend some time talking about the narcissist and how you can learn to recognize them. Often we are really deep into a relationship with them before even realizing that there may be a problem. And then getting out of that relationship will often prove a bit problematic. This guidebook is meant to help you with this, providing tools to recognize the narcissist and to even get you out of that relationship safely and effectively. Narcissists are skilled manipulators who know how to get exactly what they want and many times it is easy to get caught up with them without even realizing what is going on. It is easy to excuse their behavior or assume that it is no big deal, but this is just what the narcissist wants. And while you are busy defending that behavior, the narcissist gets further ahead, and you start to get pushed down lower.’
She discusses the etiology of Narcissism, how to deal with t and how to rebuild a life after a painful relationship.
This is a fine book for the layperson who may not have access to professional help: it is a solid start to understanding and rebuilding. Grady Harp, October 18
Editor's note: This review has been published with the permission of Grady Harp. Like what you read? Subscribe to the SFRB's free daily email notice so you can be up-to-date on our latest articles. Scroll up this page to the sign-up field on your right.